ANDERS UNIT GUIDE
by invisiblecanada
Summary: Anders now!


Welp, don't know what to say about it except that I don't have spellcheck on this thing

Hope you enjoy

I do not own Anders nor any of the characters. I only own Astra Inc.

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Congratulations! You have just purchased your very own ANDERS unit! This guide is here to insure that you aren't blown into tiny pieces by this mage.

Technical Specifications:  
Name: Anders, also responds to Blondie, Mage, Justice, and unhappily to Abomination, Crazy Mage, and Shady Fuck  
Place of Manufacture: Ferelden  
Age: 29  
Height: 6"3  
Weight: N/A

Your ANDERS unit comes equipped with:  
One (1) Renegade Coat  
Two (2) Shirts (in black and white)  
Two (2) Pairs or black and white pants  
One (1) Staff (Freedom's Call)

Removal:  
Your ANDERS unit is usually good natured though everyone can have a bad day  
1) Place a cat on top of the box. The cat will begin to do cat things on it and you will hear something from the box and that means you can open it. Open the box and your ANDERS unit will carefully take the cat, hold it closely, whisper precious, and scurry away  
2) Say that you support Templers. Your ANDERS unit will kick open the box and start giving you a lecture on how horrible they are and how you are wrong  
3) Say that you support mages. ANDERS will kick open the box and give you an epic brofist or something that shows that he respects you or generally likes you  
4) Carefully open the box and if you feel that nothing bad will happen, wake him up.

Programming:  
Doctor: With your units natural healing abilities he would make a perfect doctor, as long as the place he works at doesn't question it, and if he can get through Medical School  
Missionary: Your unit is very adamant about his beliefs and will stop at nothing to make others believe the same. Just convince him of your ideas and set him loose. Soon everyone will believe in your cause!

Re-Programming:  
Templer Hater (default)  
Obsessive  
Flirty  
Shady (locked)  
Justice (locked)  
Your unit comes in default Templer Hater mode, which involves him bashing on Templers and generally being a dick about it and going on about freedom  
Obsessive is activated by talking about mages and Templers. Your ANDERS unit will go on about Templers being horrible and freedom and mages being bashes. Usually like Templer Hater mode except this is worse and he will never shut up.  
Flirty is activated by flirting with you. He will flirt openly with you and then go back to yell at himself because he thinks he is a horrible person and will hurt you.  
Shady is unlocked when you ask him about anything he is plotting. He will get defensive and won't tell you anything though he will act like it's something and you know there's some plot going on. He won't tell you, even if you keep bugging him about it.  
Justice is unlocked by your ANDERS unit being within 10 feet of a templer for less than 30 seconds. You can tell he is in this mode by the glowing and the weird voice that is not his. He can be put in this mode also by talking good about Templers. (note: Justice is an actual part of him and is an annoying stick-in-the-mud)

Relationships:  
HAWKE: These units are fairly close and will treat each other like friends unless your ANDERS unit is in Shady mode, then your HAWKE unit will try to get him to tell her whats going on and in the end will leave him alone. This is one of the more likely pairings for your ANDERS unit.  
FENRIS: These units share a mutual dislike for each other and will argue constantly. Through the use of a lot of alcohol though, this hate may blend into a very interesting romance  
MERRIL: Your ANDERS unit is against her use of blood magic, and she kinda finds him annoying. No possible romance  
VARRIC: These units are pretty good friends and enjoy gambling and plotting creative ways to kill people.

Cleaning:  
Your unit is capable of cleaning himself and will get embarrassed if you ask to join him  
Feeding:  
Your unit will eat almost anything you give him, and if he doesn't like it he will complain for a while  
Sleeping:  
Your unit has a habit of going to sleep when he wants to for work and plotting

Problem-Shooting:  
Problem: About a week after getting your ANDERS unit your cat allergies have started acting up and you know that there are no cats in your house or around it.  
Solution: Congratulations! You have probably gotten a bunch of new pets! Your ANDERS unit is a crazy cat lady by heart and cannot turn any stray down. Just explain to him that you're allergic and he should complain, but will let the cats free. Though you might end up the test subject of a questionable cure for cat allergies.  
Problem: Instead of getting a normal ANDERS unit, we have sent you a unit that looks about 10 and is constantly running away.  
Solution: Whoops, we sent you a Child!ANDERS unit on mistake. Just call customer support and we will send you a replacement unit.

Thank you for ordering from Astra Inc. We hope you get all the enjoyment you can from this mage!

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I don't know why, but I had a lot more fun with this one than with Fenris.

Hope ya'll enjoyed this.

Please vote for what manual you want next

Peace out!


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